McCain and the Straight as in “Not Gay” Talk Express.

Once again we have ambiguous words misinterpreted by the mainstream media and its consuming public, leading to unfounded accusations of hypocrisy and lies.

In 2004, When President Bush said he would “take care of” anyone in his administration that leaked classified information, he meant “nurture”, not “fire”, or “arrest for treason”, as some believed at the time.

When Mitt Romny said he “saw” his father march with MLK, Jr., he didn’t mean “witness”, but was using the word “saw” as a synonym for “enlightened”.

We have similar confusion about John McCain’s trademarked “straight talk express”. “Straight”, in this case, means “heterosexual”.

It is useful to place the origin of that branding message in historical context. Hatched in 2000 during a primary contest that included Gary Bauer, “not gay” was an important distinguishing characteristic.

To break it down, the slogan means “I’m not gay”, and “talk express” is the vehicle to deliver to the Republican base, with the rapidity and thrust of a commuter train, the paramount message: “Not gay!”

So let’s put an end right now to all this talk about McCain being a hypocrite, even if you insist on defining “straight” in the conventional way.

True, he initially opposed the Bush tax relief along with Treasury Secretary Paul O’Neill on the grounds that the massive increase in debt would negate any benefit from the cuts. Hindsight is 20/20. A guy should be able to change his position as new data becomes available.

The tax cuts for the rich have in fact achieved the intended benefit of, to borrow from Ralph Nader: “further enriching the superrich”. Bush fiscal policy has been vindicated, so why shouldn’t McCain support it now?

Some say (that sounds sooo Katie Couric) he flip-flopped on torture. I have a source on this, an email from a friend that argues “McCain flip-flopped on torture -– he vetoed the Senate measure to include waterboarding on the list of prohibited interrogation techniques in the Army Field Manual.” So at least one person says this, I’m guessing there are others, which would qualify as “some”.

Pfhuh!

Waterboarding is torture? This is John McCain we are talking about. He’s tougher than G. Gordon Liddy. A day of waterboarding would have been a comparatively pleasant experience for him at his Hanoi prison.

Finally, “the lobbyists”, you say…”what about the lobbyists?” He’s suppose to be all for eliminating the influence of special interest lobbies, yet he cozies up to some lobbyists on flights and fund raisers (the blonde, skinny ones, anyway) and hires others to run his campaign.

I see no validity in the argument McCain does not eschew lobbyists simply because they are the only people he knows.

I bet you don't like your friends either.

So lay off McCain. His slogan says it all. He talks, and he's not gay. What more do you want?